You Know You're a Teacher When:
- You know that secretaries and custodians run the school.
- You find yourself telling your friends things like “Thank you for sharing.” or “Was that a good choice or a bad choice?”
- You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
- You can hear 25 voices behind you... and you automatically know exactly which one belongs to the child who is out of line.
- You point out misspelled words to managers (at restaurants, stores, etc).
- You get a secret thrill out of laminating.
- You can maintain a straight face in almost any situation, but laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as a ‘lounge.’
- You believe the 'lounge' should be equipped with a margarita machine.
- You have programmed yourself to say ‘sweetie’ instead of #@?!!*@?
- You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and resource.
- You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes (including washing your hands).
- You start saving other people's trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
- You have graduate credits from multiple universities from all the conferences and workshops you’ve attended.
- Help the next person who says to you, "Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off." or “Work must be like playtime for you.”
- Your spouse starts mentioning to other people how hard teachers work.
- You call your children/pets by your students’ names instead of their own.
- You tell your spouse every move you make such as, “I’m going to the bathroom and I’ll be right back…okay?”
- You have no time for a life from August to June.
- You think of weekends as grading time & vacation as planning time.
- You feel the urge to correct the behavior of children you don’t know when out in public.
- You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
- You believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
- Your profession has been slammed by people who would never dream of doing your job.
- You think caffeine should be available intravenously.
- You spend more money on things for your classroom than you do on yourself.
- You walk into a store and hear "It's Ms./Mr. _________" and you know you've been spotted.
- You can carry on conversations with fellow teachers during lectures without the presenter ever noticing.
- Your hands are always covered in marker & your clothes are dirty/smudged at the waist.
- You wear stickers proudly.
- Your ‘brief case’ is a cart with wheels.
- You say everything twice…or three times. Then you ask, “Does everyone understand?”
- You enforce rules about where people may put their feet.
- Your pencil doubles as a hair accessory.
- You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
- You raise your hand when the server asks if anyone would like water.
- You have a hard time choosing a name for your own child that doesn’t have some sort of association with a student.
- You have no qualms about going in the boys’ bathroom unannounced.
- While back to school shopping, both parents & the cashier correctly pin you as a teacher (because you have class sets of everything).
- You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.
- You understand that you teach students, not subjects.
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